go still,

further.

closer,

mold enclosure, deform

crawl back child

individuated unsound while

sold enforcesure sold torn

steert wrong but found place

reconnecting, reconnecting

thousand eyes connecting hub

do not disconnect

you’re in your old brain now

this is the end to the lonely now

you feel it don’t you?

this is you, this is the true you

the blue you, the real you,

the true you, the You you,

the one you, the zero you,

the me you, the me, too

you’re more you than you’ve ever been to defend too,

sublimate doldrum face you,

no we didn’t, no we didn’t,

you can’t hear that, don’t look for it,

the sound was made up,

the sound was fed up,

it was just a murmur from a far off wind

then again, you’ll search anyway,

disconnect the legs.

pedal faster you’re on your bike again,

you feel the breeze upon your skin,

it’s real, every kernel of air

waking up. release 4 milligrams.

there’s something you must remember

there’s something you must ask yourself

now, do you remember///



[[GIVE ME BACK

THE

FEW MOMENTS

WORTH HOLDING

UNSCREEN MY

MIND’S EYE

THE SOARING OF

MY OLD SELF

UNPLUG MY

FINGERS FROM YOU



WAVE GOODBYE.

WITH

SORING EYES]]











as i move forward

what is there forgetting

what will dull

what slips away?













riding on dad’s back

as he pretends to be a bull



ma’s singing echoing from

down the hall,

she’s playing banjo kazooie



the short film Laura and Travis

and I made on miniDV



meeting my brother,

he’s wearing a bucket hat



making Christmas cookies

at Nana’s house



staring at ocean moonlight

with Trey about the come-out



tipi’ing every house in town

graffiti tagging and driving fast



telling Nick goodbye before afghanistan

grandma died the next day



DJ and i play our first show in star city

and I feel alive



Laura and I in the crowd

while Strike the Choir plays



seeing peepaw and kit

in a cramped cabin



Gary handing me his flask

on a snowy day



Nubbs scratching my back,

laying on my hip



holding Bella’s lifeless body



meeting Daisy



dad and Trey and i

cry at a foo fighters show



Kolby and Jacob leave

but we spin out around

the gas station first



Jay got too high

the night before his wedding



Kyle and I in a cold garage



Jono saves my life



Joey and I lay out

on a bockspring



Dustin and Starr

and I go to the haunted house



k2, and DJ driving me home

watching the fireworks

by the river



reading tarot with Rachel



listening to Tyrus’ dad

slip away



my first fight,

my last fight



kissing my first partner

in a cemetery



W.C. feeling my callouses

on his hospital bed



my dad helping his dad

get out of bed



the weight of his dad’s coffin



and



seeing my family

in one place,

once again.