still

by nouns

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about

On Being Nineteen:

"Nineteen's a selfish age and finds one's cares tightly circumscribed..."

"...But I still think that's a pretty fine age. Maybe the best age. You can rock and roll all night, but when the music goes out and the beer wears off, you're able to think. And dream big dreams. The mean Patrol Boy cuts you down to size eventually, and if you start out small, why, there's almost nothing left but the cuffs of your pants when he's done with you."

—Stephen King

'still' was recorded from April 10th, 2013 to February 19th by us in various bedrooms, dens, practice spaces, sheds and living rooms, on floors, coffee tables, and some really odd things to prop a computer on (chess board briefcases book castles etc). It's a relief that it's done. It could be better, and hopefully the next album will be recorded by someone other than us. Unfortunately rent and food are real things.

nouns is:

Tyler Evans- Drums
Michael Hall- Bass
Elgin "Doyle" Venable- Vocals, Guitar
Hunter Clifton Mann- Vocals, Guitar, Synth

This is the first release affiliated with Shed Records, a label started by Michael Plummer and Hunter (nouns guy) in their (our) back yard. Michael built a shed from the ground up and turned it into a wonderful studio and business office for us to kick things off with.

This record is also being put out on tape by Funeral Sounds Records. Thank you so much Mark, for being a wonderful friend.

We'll keep people up to date when the cassettes are ready for purchase. So far, there's no plan for vinyl copies but we're hoping.

Thank yous: Topbunk, everyone at the Squeeze, everyone at Amerika, everyone at the Shed house, everyone that is at and comes to the Blu house, Lifer, I Was Afraid, Pope, Donovan Wolfington, Caverns, Loser Vision, Scarves, empire empire!, Old Gray, Alyssa for consistently asking us to play the song about her, Bleu the cat for chasing laser pointer dots, Hunter Guffy, D.J. Richardson, Cameron Blandford, Cam Kuhn (we see you), Alex Bauer, Olivia Slater, Courtney Hampton, our parents, Michael's church (for the bass sometimes), anyone who ever came to a house show and said we did well even though we were obviously out of tune, people that actually read shit like this

Sincerely,

we just want you to be okay

credits

released 19 February 2014

Funeral Sounds/Shed Records
all rites deserved

tags

license

all rights reserved

feeds

feeds for this album, this artist
Track Name: fourteen
"
I was raped at fourteen
and I'm not using this as another tragedy to make my art more appealing
or to make you pity me
and bring you closer to
"understanding" me
but instead,
as an encouragement
for those that have faced any sort of trauma,
no matter how small
--don't be afraid to open it into discussion.

but before you do,
analyze your feelings
regarding the past.

If you bring it up

what do you want people to see?
do you want them
to see a
"victim"
?

because
you should never
ever
want to be the victim

but instead,
the hero

show "them"
that you've been through
some
sort
of
s h i t

and that you
don't need Anyone's
pity

because you've
overcome
that heartache

and you're a good person
you're the hero
no matter how bad
things have been

show "them"
that you're strong
and that you can
overcome
more adversity
and you can
come out
a
role model

and show
t h e m
that you're truly proud with the person you've become

but first you must work
and it's
a difficult job
but you must try your hardest
to fill the holes in your heart
with nothing but
your
self

and
use that
pain
that you
have
in your heart
as a tool

not so that
people may understand you
but so that
you may understand people

use this
to help the world
one person
at a time
and know
you're no longer
the victim
instead
you're
the
victor
"

— Olivia
Track Name: I feel as though I've failed
"

when I failed out of college a huge weight was lifted from my chest

through degrees of separation I found that degrees were separating us
only serving the cause of labeling us most likely to be happy
society told me how to be
but I find I'm much happier being me


I will never define myself or those around me, by the level of education under their belt
because that's a boring fucking way
to be a
worthless
spacious
machine

and the guilt at first killed me
another fuck-up in the family
but the pressure was too much

—every panic attack every class every stare I wanted to take my father's pistol and say goodbye to my friends wanted to lose my head shaking until cold lost my dignity
with every shake of the hand—

I'm scared of what's ahead
but I'd rather be afraid
than continue to be dead

"

— J.D.
Track Name: soccer ball
"

'You were a fuck up when you were a kid. Don't you ever say a damn word about mine.'

'Nobody died and made you the king of the universe; who the fuck cares what you think?'

while you were yelling at dad, I was thinking about how I was just like him; I chugged a bit of cough medicine, and found the time rift under my bed

I scraped my knees falling in
I hit my head against the pavement
I landed in our driveway,
and there at my face
was a lonely soccerball

I shrugged and walked a few miles to my old school's baseball field, and there was a kid there that looked just like me

he was sucking on sunflower seeds, and he didn't look too happy,
he says to me:

'all my friends are taller than me, and everything I feel is low'

"

— Jackson
Track Name: fox wound
"
I want to pull me up and lick my wounds with my old sandpaper tongue
and I need to try to stop lying
need to rip my throat out, and shove it back again
so i can swallow my acid spit

and breathe in my words, my thoughts and reason
the reasons why I'm such a fucking face in the bushes


and all these times I never told my mother, that I want to die, that I've wanted to cry my whole fucking life

and all these times I never told my father,
that I was made a pretty girl,
but shit got fucked somewhere down the line

I'm trying so hard to be someone I can love
but it's so difficult

when I'm stuck making others happy, but I still feel selfish

sometimes I just need to
place my temple on the asphalt
and slow my breathing
til it stops
listening to the purr of cars
like a fox in roadkill

"

— J.D.
Track Name: closer
"

took my father's rifle
and shot up my school
he said he never saw it coming
but everyone knew

and now all those kids are dead
and I'm no longer here
but in the grand scheme of things
it was just fine

it was just fine

"

— Oliver
Track Name: wreck
"

I hate everyone I love
for keeping me anchored to this earth
it's in all their god damned support
that I can't leave behind
a happy corpse

with a smile on my face
and a hole in my chest
'cause there was a hole in my heart
that no one could fix

father asks 'why' but please I don't know why mother keeps crying she can't let me go talk going around about being institutionalized cringing in my mind about the thought of being exorcised there's a demon in my brain and he's eating all my joy he's the same spawn of satan that made me the boy I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am

I am

such a fucking wreck

and I'm sort of scared
I'm 19 years old
already dead-set on being alone

so give me my klonopin
and leave me alone
or god come about
and let me leave home

'cause I hate myself
for being self-involved
and I love myself
for being better than all
with my nose in the air
I can truly say
you would miss me too much
if I were gone

"

— Jackson
Track Name: ghost legs
"

underneath the table
little ghost legs stick out
worn out from hide and seek
from being weak

from the ceiling
my legs fall down
worn out from all the running
from being

stepping on sunflower seeds at the carnival
dangling from swing-sets in the schoolyard
tapping under a desk filled with poetic bullshit
squeaking in halls after the rain
so restless now let me rest
closer still
closer still
narcissistic in my self-loathing

little ghost legs, run on home

"

— J.D.
Track Name: little slugger
"

if you're the same as you were last year
then what have you done to grow
and if there's no dirt under your nails
you're digging yourself a hole

you may scrape your knees
climbing on to the roof
but once you see the view
you'll know the pain was worth it

"

— Olivia
Track Name: ski mask
"

I'm looking for a reason
one that will keep me here this time
it's this damned season
I pray for harmony here this time

I'm nervous in the season
I've got to show everyone who I am
no one said it would be easy
to be a pseudolamb inside a man

so, shoot me down
I pray for harmony in sight of god
so, shoot me down
I'm forgetting my place again

at best I'm pretentious
tangents in my mind are easier to find
at best I'm not quiet
the best of my words fall short before they lie

you won't understand
at best I'm optimistic
I don't hate this world one bit
I just hate being in it

I just want to be kind
but I'm angry in every way
I am the devil
and the deep blue sea
and I take myself too seriously

"
— J.D.
Track Name: daydream
"

in my head, I killed you all
and you all begged me
and for once, I felt powerful

in my head, they accepted me
said I wasn't crazy
and for once, I felt alright

in my head, I killed my all
and you all mourned me
and for once, I felt at peace

in my head, they knew me
said I was their friend
and for once, I felt like living

I felt like living

"

— Oliver
Track Name: I still want to make you proud
"

infected youth
grow spokesmen of gray

she loved him so
and he left
he said he wished her to die
and she cried
closer, still
to whatever may come of heartbreak

then she found her self self sea sick
lost in an ocean
without her pharmacy fisherman
and she found it was too hard
to stand up on her own

she wished she could die

never mind
the growing weight
in what she can't stomach

left in the womb all alone
she lost that baby on her own
she just laid still

left in the womb all alone
she lost that baby on her own
she became still

after that she never felt right
she just laid still
still

never told anyone about the child
she just stayed still
still

she told me
and I cried,
still

and I died,
I died a small bit
I died



and now I think about it all the time
would it be better
would it be nicer
than me

I hope that I'm not right
I can't face that kind of life
shadowed by someone never alive

but how could she love me
after her heart was broken in two

how could she be proud
after her heart was taken from her

I wonder about my sibling
if a heaven has a
place
for
her

but god you work so strangely

you take smiles so quickly
so quietly

a blade can cut so quickly
but my legs won't die so quietly
i don't want to keep going

I've got to keep going

if not for my mother,
then for the one we've lost

still,
a better world
a nicer world
how can I redeem myself
for my
failure

I'll never know her
she was never here
I am failing
to live on
for myself
I'm sorry
I love you
I'm sorry
I didn't
say it enough

you could've asked
why I am alive


why am
I
alive

"

— J.D.
Track Name: but I can't stay here
"

walking down the aisle
tears fill no eyes
it's a beautiful day
a glorious way
to survive

cars follow me
are you in one of them

cars follow best suit
in line for the fun of it

it's a gas


lift up my limp wrist
place your warmth in mine
kiss my frothing mouth
wait for help to arrive

declare me lost before found
couldn't stand to see you cry
mother, I tried my hardest
it was difficult not to die

"

— Hunter

I'm sorry.